April 27, 2008
Shanghai new delicacy
'wen says:
kill a SUPER big beetle/or cockroach that flew in through my balcony....
i hate your optimism; i hope u drown in it. says:
eeeks... that's horrible.. how did u kill it?
'wen says:
killed by spraying half a can of insecticide
i hate your optimism; i hope u drown in it. says:
eeks..
'wen says:
heh...knew you gonna ask that. it has the scarry wings flipping sound. when it is not moving.i just throw tons of tissue over it lor... and wrap and throw
i hate your optimism; i hope u drown in it. says:
ok.. i hate that sound. so u dun ve to tell me the details. so, was it a cockroach or beetle?
'wen says:
it should be an american beetle that looks like a fat cockroach
i hate your optimism; i hope u drown in it. says:
how do u know it's american? it's wearing blue n red? so, was it a democrat or republican?
'wen says:
heh....i read on papers lar.....it is a black democrat..just like obama
i hate your optimism; i hope u drown in it. says:
why wld the papers report american beetles? it's like, their season in shanghai now? instead of 'da zha xie', it's 'da mei guo jia chong'? u just killed a delicacy! in insecticide dressing.
'wen says:
that is disgusting!
i hate your optimism; i hope u drown in it. says:
shudva wrapped it in tissue, pour some dough batter n deep fry it
'wen says:
yah..than i courier it to you. i prefer to save the best for you....hahha
i hate your optimism; i hope u drown in it. says:
no need... let my fav couple have my share when they go visit u. esp the one who cooked 'vegetable oyster soup' for me last wk
'wen says:
really? nice?
i hate your optimism; i hope u drown in it. says:
haha...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:16
Worms can't count
trud: It's not me...
me: Ya, right. It's not you. Blame everything else, except yourself.
yx: Ya, it's not you. It's the worm in you.
me: Oh my god! Get a life! She should just ask him straight. "Do you like me? 'Cos if you don't, then stop bloody wasting my time. You little loser!"
emman: Ok! *stands and walks away
me: I'm sorry. I was just being a bit too dramatic.
yx: She's just being herself.
emman: She's just being herself; I'm the one who was acting.
me: Right. I'm just being myself. You are the one who's acting. Thanks for completing the act for me.
emman: You are beginning to sound like Gerlin.
trud: She's been hanging around her too much.
me: Ya.
yx: But you understand me, right?
emman: Ya, I do.
me: But you don't understand Gerlin.
emman: Ya.
me: hmm...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 21:27
Pain is good
Massage went quite wrong. If I knew she was a Thai masseur, I would have opted for 'medium', instead of 'firm'. I hated the steam bath. Claustrophobically yucky. Thankfully, I only needed to present a voucher for payment purpose.
Yoga went quite right. Though my upper arms are still aching. And I totally have no idea how I'm going to do the all-eight, kneeling sun salutation next Friday. It's Just, Too, Difficult. But the instructor's good, and patient. So, I guess I would take it s-l-o-w...
Facial went well. Though it was not so luxurious, really. I was wincing and tearing when the tiny black and white heads got purged out from under my skin. But you should see how radiant my complexion looked on Saturday morning. Quite worth it.
A week of pain. But I keep telling myself, "Pain is good". Somehow, it's refreshing to feel pain after a state of indifference.
Cyclical D. Version 2.2.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 21:06
Club ...
Inauguration of the club @ Stamford Garden, National Museum of Singapore.
Date: 26 April 2008
Event: Open Air Cinema, "Singing in the rain".
Inaugurated Pioneering Members: Emmanuel, Jancy, Trudy, Yixian
Menu: Marigold AppleGrape fruit juice, fried tofu and fishpaste wrapped in beancurd skin, Pringles Sour Cream
I liked Club 998. 998 for 'irrelevant' in our coding of ceaselessly meaningless questionaires. But it reminded Trudy too much of RSAF. Round, Short And Fat. Brilliant!
I didn't like Singleton Club. Sounds too exclusive and stereotyped.
Club ~less. ~ for 'faith', 'hope', 'job', 'care', 'penni'...
But I think Club Regardless is damn cool.
Waiting for the next announcement from xiao gua...
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 20:50
April 23, 2008
Recovering...
Coming from the radio now... "Can't cry hard enough"
Now that you're gone, I can't cry hard enough. No, I can't cry hard enough for you to hear me now.This song reminds me of a friend I used to have. Laifa. I tried smsing him last year, after a lapse of many years. He replied asking me who I was as he didn't have my number in his phone. I didn't reply. I deleted his number from my phone.
Some people walk into your life for a reason and when that reason is all spent, both your paths will separate without your effort.
Sometimes, it totally changes the landscape of our world. Sometimes, it doesn't.
xxx
I installed a new security software. I hate it. It's slowing my PC speed down ALOT and makes all those farting sounds when I log on. Awful!
I want to uninstall it and give it one more chance to perform.
xxx
Today, I sleep at 0130. An hour later than the past few days.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:25
April 20, 2008
elephant trivia
Watched Animal Planet earlier this morning while munching on my bacon sandwich. Do you know that...
...cows can produce 3% more milk by listening to Simon and Garfunkel songs?
...the growth of a joey to an adult kangaroo has the largest growth percentage in all of mammals?
...mudskippers can climb trees?
...the manatees sleep between breaths, i.e. at intervals of 20 minutes, because they can't breathe when they sleep?
...a giraffe's neck has as many bones as a human neck, i.e. 7 bones?
...a honey bee flies the equivalent of 2 rounds around Earth just to collect enough nectar to produce less than a tablespoon of honey?
...the babies of crab spider suck their mother dry to get their food immediately after they are born?
My personal favourite is this:
Elephants have bad digestive system. As a result, the African elephant poop up to 300 pounds (or more) in one day. That's a lot of crap!
So, the next time you can tell your crappy friends (or boss), "You are as crappy as an elephant."
One more thing, the dung beetles clean up those poo efficiently by using them as their very humble (indeed) abode or food source.
So, the next time you can tell your as-crappy-as-elephant boss, "I'm not your dung beetle!" when they give you shit work to complete with shit deadline.
There! The wonders of nature!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:51
Enelya then said...
me: I think the best thing is that with time, everything passes.
enelya: Ya. With time, everything passes. With everything, time passes.
me: That's a good one. I can blog that.
enelya: Ya. Different 'everything'.
me: Ya. I just keep thinking about what she said once, that whoever said life has to have a purpose, whoever said life has any meaning?
enelya: Ya?
me: And Morrie said when you know how to die, you know how to live.
enelya: hmm...
me: The thing is, who really cares about how you die when you are dead? People only care when you are dead. And when you are, they care that you are indeed dead. Right?
enelya: True. Imagine when you are supposed to be dead, and your friend turns up at your funeral, you get out of your coffin and walk towards them, ask them how they've been. It will freak the hell out of them.
me: Ya, so when you are dead, the most important thing and possibly the only thing that matters is that you must remain dead. Don't do silly things like be resurrected. 'Cos then you'll realise how much people actually prefer you remain dead.
enelya: That's crap.
me: Ya. As crappy as an elephant.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:41
April 19, 2008
The past rubbed shoulders with the present, 17:20
Dear xgf,
So, is she the one who has given you a realistic relationship? The one who insisted that she's straight but admitted she found you attractive when we were still together? The one, simply, you dumped me for but were too chicken shit to use that as a reason.
I hope you are really happy now with your realistic relationship, whoever with. You self-righteous arsehole.
From the stranger now.
xxx
Dear you,
I tried so hard to avoid you because I didn't want to reconcile who you are with who you were. I went quite out of my way to avoid that potentially traumatic experience.
It was only a glance. Neither you nor she saw me. But I saw you alright.
And I need someone to tell me, to assure me that what I have, what I know of you will always, always be mine exclusively. Noone will ever, ever see the same sparkle in your eyes as I have seen. No one will ever, ever have the little notes, little gestures of affection that we once shared.
I don't want to care about who you are now. Because you have given up, rejected me, kept me away from you, intentionally.
But I need someone to tell me noone can take you away from me. The 'you' that I know.
From your once QAD.
xxx
Dear me,
Life and the world didn't get more fucked up, neither did it get more beautiful. That's how I realised how much time and how much life has passed by without my actual realising it. And I grew even more ironically aware that my affair with the past is so very divorced with the present.
I always was aware that all my desires, my choices about who I want to be root back to my self-indulgent affair with the past. Reality is but a surreal feeling, where it's more important not to be deluded and ought be adequately filled with entertainment and engagements so that the past doesn't get a chance to infiltrate. That's all there is.
So much time has passed with such a dearth of feelings.
Do not give me any more advice, or attempts of help. I'm not unaware; I'm fully aware. But I've made a choice you didn't want me to make.
But it's my surreally half screwed life. In a way, I'm loving it. Try to respect that.
I can't wait to know my dream tonight.
From self.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 22:15
April 16, 2008
Classic (Jaded) Jancy
'wen says:
there is this episode which mantra is...... In the city of infinite choices, it is comforting to know there is only one right choice.
falling ever slowly... says:
but not v comforting when u know u can't make the rite choice lehhh
'wen says:
but you must be comforted by the fact that there is only one right choice first lar.. then you work towards that one right choice. if you dont even know if there is a right choice...then ...it is a lost cause mah...
falling ever slowly... says:
it's comforting to know there's only one right choice. it's a matter of gettin to it.
'wen says:
see...you are those who think too much lar 'cause you think of what if i cant reach the right choice. so we skip the first happy point
falling ever slowly... says:
no leh... i actually don't think abt what if i can't reach the right choice. i'm actually thinking, does it matter to make the right choice or not. so, i think i'm even simpler. cos i dun even care if there is indeed a right choice at all.
'wen says:
thats because..you been through....and jaded... so not considered.
falling ever slowly... says:
oh is it... oki. haha
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:00
April 15, 2008
Today at Takashimaya...
Customer Service: Hi, Mam. How can I help you?
We (Jasmine and I): Hi. Erm, we lost our sister. Can you help us to make an announcement?
Customer Service: Sure, Mam. Can I have the name of your sister?
We: Janet.
Customer Service: And how old is she?
We: Um, 29.
Customer Service: ...
Hey! Adults can't get lost in a shopping mall?
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:38
April 13, 2008
Quite nothing.
You stay away from this dangerous and pretty meaningless game. It lures you in, holds your attention, and while you start to believe, it rapes you clean of your trust, faith and hope. Then, makes a brutal and quick exit.
See the rainbow at the end of that exit? You clamber on all fours, try to reach that. Except didn't anybody tell you that a rainbow at the end of the storm is just a diffusion of light? It's not even real. The moment you get on it, hopeful, you will fall endlessly.
That's why you stay away. Like a teetotaller to beer. Like acrophobia to cliffs. Like....
It will be fine. Nothing really changes. You'll see. Quite nothing.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 18:47
April 12, 2008
the turning point
Because Karen, and a few others too, read some posts within this space, from an eternity ago, and remarked that I seemed to be more bubbly.
So, I went to try to find the point at which contentment became a dearth of emotions and good humor became an effort at disguising the weariness within.
Nov 06. I had all your support. Most of all, meisen.
Meisen who has refused social contact until next month, according to her blog.
xxx
Things really didn't get that much better. Truth. Just more second nature to make it seem so.
xxx
The times in my life I really knew happened, sure it happened just like I remember it: My uni days, particularly honours year. My sec days, particularly sec 3 n 4.
The times in my life I am no longer sure if it really happened: i don't know if i could even quote the time.
because you said it felt unrealistic. you robbed me of the certainty that it was every bit real and worth a very special place in my mind and heart.
xxx
You know what?
Fuck You.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 01:13
April 11, 2008
Jasmine's windows
Her boss claimed she has access to confidential info. Hence, she need not serve her notice and could leave the very day she tendered her resignation. So, suddenly, my sis found herself waking up after 8am on a lovely Friday morning, but not quite knowing how to spend the rest of the day. Then, we both logged onto msn on our respective laptops.
looks like somebody's gone sane says:
why u dun online huh.. hiding frm ur x-coll huh?
open minds open concept open the world says:
ya.. only wan to talk to my sisters..
looks like somebody's gone sane says:
kapui
open minds open concept open the world says:
miss u lei
looks like somebody's gone sane says:
oh ya.. from the corner of ur bedroom eh?
looks like somebody's gone sane says:
whh is less than 20 steps away from this corner of my bedrm.
looks like somebody's gone sane says:
very convincing. baka.
open minds open concept open the world says:
haha
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 12:29
April 10, 2008
Drifting along in this shower
I couldn't get to sleep a wink. But I closed my eyes and rested awhile. My eyes were tired from getting out in the unbearably hot weather this morning.
Then, it started to rain.
I love the rain, but I still hate the crappy weather. I love life but I hate the deceit. I love the past but I hate you. I love the chime being moved by the wind but I hate the helplessness. I love the emptiness but I hate the loneliness. I love the quiet but I hate the boredom. I love the intention but I hate the execution. I love the details but I hate how they haunt. I love the thought but I hate the self-righteousness. I love the companionship but I hate the obligation. I love the duty but I hate the responsibility. I love the ambiguity but I hate the confusion. I love sharing but I hate having my trust betrayed. I love taking a risk but I hate that the decision might never be mine to make. I love the bright side but I hate the disappointment. I love hope but I hate to be gullible. I love... but I hate...
I'm still at this bloody same spot, gazing out the window, listening to the rain. Nobody outside at the corridor, just some stupid thoughts wasted down that regretful walkway.
And Hugo just barked. At the thunder. Good doggie.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:38
April 09, 2008
Hear only the good things
Because my ears are semi-blocked, because of the terrible cold that I'm recovering from, because I knowingly ignored the symptoms and didn't try hard enough to sleep earlier.
I slept a total of about 34 hours in the past 3 days. And used up the equivalent of 3 packs of tissue paper. If you think about it, it's not too bad. Considering that I still went to work, after equipping myself with plenty of water and cold tablets.
I hate the crappy weather!!!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 13:14
April 03, 2008
Apple's windows
In my opinion, a 'romantic villain' is...
just a nicer name for screwedballs. u know, those men (or women) who are so blardy damn romantic n making all those effort to be romantic to someone when underneath, they are just another screwed up arsehole who are commitment phobic and have no other good qualities in their personality to speak of except to fake romantic. In short, it's a romantic term thought up by some low-lifer to make them sound intelligent.
p.s. except it doesn't even sound intelligent to me. whahaha!!
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:40
For the 3rd time...
The first was The Pillowman. 2 days after I checked online and the seats were selling fast, I went to Sistic, wanting to buy the tickets. All fully sold. Crap.
The second was Women Who Love Women. I was all game for it but when Karen tried to get the tickets for us all, all fully sold. Crap.
For the third time, it has happened. 7 hours ago, I checked the website for the tickets to National Language Class, tickets were selling fast. I went out for work, came back, showered, got online, ready with my credit card details. And it's fully sold. Crap.
The next damn play/festival film I wanna watch, I am just going to book the blardy ticket before even thinking if I could make it or if I would get any company.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:28
I am so admirable.
You would probably agree with me when I tell you I watched The Orphanage today. Alone. At a rather old theatre in the heartland. Ok. EW Jubilee cinema.
I wanted to watch it. The timing was good today. I stopped procrastinating (n i get brownie points for this too!) and got myself a tic.
The screening was practically for me and me alone. It was 1.15pm, on a Wednesday. At Jubilee. What are the odds that I would have company?
Anyway, I was slightly freaked out when I realised I was going to be the only person (as far as I can see, non-supernaturally) in the not-that-small theatre. Add the air-con and the oppressive silence. There were a few seconds during which I wondered if I'm too brave for my own good. But, seven bucks was still hard-earned money.
So, I sat through the movie. And jumped out of my seat, just once.
The Orphanage was good. No cheesy scenes. And I quite liked the story. But above all, I pride myself on having watched a horror thriller flick all alone in a rather-forsaken cinema.
The brave bitch.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 00:20